My Ennui

I've been going through some serious ennui stuff lately.

The OED defines ennui as

a. The feeling of mental weariness and dissatisfaction produced by want of occupation, or by lack of interest in present surroundings or employments.

I don't have a lack of interest in present surroundings or employments, but I do have a severe mental weariness at the lack of employment. The place where I intern (and subsequently did not quit), is hiring a full time receptionist. We shall, from here on out, refer to this place as Chic Magazine. 

Chic gave me the heads up that they were hiring someone and offered me the chance to put my hat in the ring. I apprecaited the opportunity, as I've obviously got nothing else on the horizon. 
But then my tender and very fragile little ego was beaten into submission the next day as two perfect-looking girls came into the office to interview for my job. 

I was crestfallen and crushed and smushed and basically beaten down. Then, come to find out, they will have interviewed a total of 8 other people. 

I've been freaking out about this all week, which obviously doesn't help, but I don't know what else to do. 

Needless to say, my ennui is at an all time high and I'm doing my best to battle through.

I really really want this fucking job at Chic. Shall keep you posted.


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